A good deal of safety, for both kids and adults, stems from the fact that you project self-confidence. Many victims, whether being one from a bully at school, the office intimidator or the mugger, project weakness in their personas. Having low self-esteem does not necessarily mean you will be a victim, but it definitely stacks the odds in your favor that you could unwittingly be setting yourself up as one.

There has always been conjecture that confident kids and adults are naturally less of a target for predators. Many psychologists and law enforcement professionals have advocated this idea for years. Predators are those individuals that look for people to prey upon for a variety of reasons. Now, it seems that there is real evidence this is true.

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, former West Point psychology professor, has a “wolf, sheep and sheepdog” theory that relates directly to predators, victims and protectors. The wolves, the predators that prey on us and our children, are despicable. There is nothing morally superior in them. Most of us are sheep, content to live our lives knowing others are protecting us. The sheepdogs, are the bastions of safety. They live for the opportunity to be called to duty to protect the innocent.

While it’s an odd analogy for a career military man, its beauty is in the simplicity of the concept and its explanation. It can simply and easily be applied and understood by everyone. We can apply it to teaching kids about child safety.

There is nothing morally superior about sheepdogs, only the fact that this is how they are and what their focus is. In safety, we add to the skill set of the sheepdogs. We hope we can get a few sheep to understand that armed with our safety techniques, they can become sheepdogs. Grossman goes on to explain that wolves, sheep and sheepdogs are born that way. They are what they are and can’t help it. We, as human beings can be born a certain way but have the ability to make choices for ourselves.

Making good moral choices, like choosing to be a sheepdog and learning those characteristics of protection and responsibility for community and others, is what safety is all about at the end of the day. It’s what we set up as the end-all goal in teaching kids safety for a lifetime.

This theory also relates to safety and kids. Once you teach a child the ability to keep themselves safe, you can teach them the responsibility to keep their family, friends and others safe, too. It’s called social responsibility. We call it social safety or more commonly, leadership.

Fourth of July is upon us this week!

Just about all of us grow up watching the fireworks and parades after a day of family bar-b-ques, swimming and picnics.  Here are a few safety reminders for you, your family and your children for a safe and happy holiday.

At the pool or lake, even for parade viewing, makes sure you have plenty of sunscreen. Oh, and use it, too.  A good 30 SPF will do and if you can make it waterproof for your kids, all the better. Reapply it often throughout the day.  In addition, make sure everyone has plenty of water to drink. Yes, all the sodas and sugary specials make the day fun but a hot summer day outside requires 8-10 full glasses for everyone, including the active kids.

If you are boating at the lake, follow all safety regulations and make sure there are life preservers for everyone on board.  Keep the boat capacity to the number of people allowed and save the alcohol for afterwards.

If you’re heading out for a family bike ride make sure everyone, including the tike in the back, has a helmet on.  “If it has wheels under it, put a helmet on it,” we say.  Make sure the helmet is on properly.  This means the helmet sits square on the top of the head, protecting the entire crown and back instead of sitting like a cap on the back. Make sure the chin strap is tight to the chin but not choking or uncomfortable.

If you are heading out driving do a final check that your car is in top operating condition. Carry extra supplies such as water and a good emergency kit.  If you have to stop on the highway for an emergency, make sure you pull well off the road surface.  Anyone who exits the car should do so on the passenger side of the vehicle.

For the evening fireworks, head to a professionally run display.  Fireworks, even sparklers, are not for any child to hold, including teens.  It goes beyond holding and lighting them.  Firecrackers can be unpredictable. There are incidents where they have even exploded inside of children’s pockets when temperatures are high. Sometimes they  gone off  just from friction against the clothing.

There are almost 10,000 injuries in the United States from fireworks, and at least 1,000 lead to permanent damage.   Sparklers can reach temperatures of 1800 degrees, hot enough to melt gold.  They can cause third degree burns in less than a second.  Again, we recommend heading out to the professional displays.

Most Fourth of July holiday safety is just common sense. A little thought in front of the activity will be preventative and keep it a safe and happy holiday for your entire family.

A good friend of mine called last night and said he’d been feeling exhausted. Its been only two weeks at home with his kids since summer vacation started. I shamelessly exploited the obvious jokes at his expense:

“Well! Mom let’s us have Kool Aid for breakfast!”

“I didn’t know the cup would get stuck in the toilet!”

“Why did she get the bigger piece?”

“It’s too hot to go outside!”
My friend is a writer and finishing up his book over the next couple of months and he finds himself at home with his three young children while his wife, a doctor, heads out each day. This is his first time doing this and it’s pretty amusing even if I admire him.

I listened diligently and in the end, while he’ll do a great job and survive until September, needed a little gently reminder about safety as a summer-stay-at-home Dad.

First, I reminded him of the strangers that were going to stop by and in his home this summer. This is an aspect of safety that many new stay at home parents don’t even think of or realize. I reminded him to answer the phone himself and always answer the door. As busy as he is, it’s important to remember that he needs to be filter for strangers. He’ll have to be the filter for his young three children.

Any time he has to meet new clients or subcontractors he is going to have to do so in a local coffee shop until he gets to know and trust them. Having a coffee can also give him something to do during any lulls in conversation other than just sitting there and feeling awkward.

Finally, I asked him to check to make sure his first aid kit is up to date and is where he can easily and readily find it. The same thing goes for his home fire extinguishers. Make sure you know where they are and how to use them and when to use them.

My friend will make it to September. I think I threw him off a bit with my safety suggestions but I know he’ll do them.